There is not a person alive that doesn’t look back with the sharp pain of regret. With wisdom that comes with age and time and experience when we realize what we should have done, what we would do we now, and sometimes can torture ourselves thinking, “If I could only go back…”
My child was eight years old the year we started anew. I had finally left my abusive husband, was just dating my would-be husband, my beloved cat of twenty years disappeared, we were out of money and my children and I were confused and saddened. In a bug infested apartment, with mattresses on the ground we stayed. My normally joyful son would throw unusual violent outbursts stemming from rage and heartbreak. I, myself a child still, yelled at him to stop. Even swatted him once. So lost in my own temporary madness, I was just desperate for him to stop screaming.
My goodness, what I would do to go back. To fold him into my arms and whisper and sing and rock him. To let him know the world will be alright and we are together as a family. That my love for him was (and is) so intense that I would do anything for his happiness. To just let his tears fall and mine too and heal together. What I would do.
Fights I would have avoided with friends who have passed on. More time spent with family. Friends I will never see again but have things to say to. These moments we cannot change, only learn from.
We must look at these moments in our lives from an outsider’s perspective. See the hurt. Comfort the inner child. See all sides. Release it. Light a candle and sit comfortably. In the dark is even better. Now think of the person that was hurt (even if it was yourself) and in front of you create a ball of light. Fill that prana, or energy, with the most intense love and emotion you can. All your good wishes. Prayers for blessings. Apologies. Light. Now send it out to that person.
This may seem like it does nothing but what if that friend you had the fallout with twenty years ago received a great gift or bit of good luck or blessing or healing? What if the person could hear you from beyond the void? What if this made you a more compassionate, mindful and empathetic person? There is no harm, and only good that can come from this. By releasing this prana of love into the atmosphere to the person that was harmed we essentially cleanse it and keep it from inhibiting our karma, our guilt, and heals our own heartbreak in the process. These little ceremonies change everything.