The nest of tiny blackbirds awakes in raucous song as their mother comes along to feed them. A baby robin hops through the grass cheered on and carefully watched over by her parents. An infant dove perches asleep on a branch. From my front porch the world is alive and green and new. New life everywhere. And sitting on this front porch, that I am in love with along with my home and my huge yard and gardens and chickens, I too have learned lessons of newness and life.
“I think I have spread myself too thin,” I said quietly to my Uncle Norris, who came to visit me at the winery.
“You tend to do that!” he laughed.
As I sit on my front porch watching the vegetables reach up to the morning sun and hear the birds singing for the joy of day, I contemplate…You know the dead of winter drop in retail sales is sobering and the fear of not being able to pay bills is tiring. And the thought had occurred to me that something new might be waiting for me and that receiving a paycheck instead of praying for customers might be easier. I do like to romanticize things. But here is the beautiful truth, we try to new things and maybe we fail. Or maybe we try lots of new things in our life and become overwhelmed but what happens is that the important things that we want to prioritize step to the forefront and we see our life’s path very clearly through fatigue and a packed schedule.
It took driving an hour to a job it turns out I dislike to realize that I do not mind the longer drive to my shop to work with my daughter and make my medicines among my shop cats and turtle (someone dropped off a turtle and now we have a shop turtle!).
My daughter became part owner of White Wolf Medicine a week ago. I am amazingly happy and proud. We realized that we cannot cut it on one income and Doug has a second interview for a good job today. I realize that I want more time at home tending to my herbs, preserving, making medicines. I will even do a few local markets by myself instead of working for someone else. We want to sit on our front porch in the evenings and watch the stars come out with less stress. Sometimes when we have so many options and are trying to do everything we can step back and see what really needs to be done, what we want to do, what our path looks like, or could look like. But try the new ideas, try the different lifestyle, you can always change your mind.
And I think it’s time to stop spreading ourselves so thin. Make more time to watch the new life all around us, and embrace the sweet moments gifted to us each day.